Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
