So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I lost the right to judge tonight
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
