What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just had sex on a roof
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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