Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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