Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
