he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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