We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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