If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
