So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
