he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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