Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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