In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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