I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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