soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
