Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
