No awkward lesbian experiences without me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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