ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
