this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
