writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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