I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
