ADVERTISEMENT

• (801): View more from Utah

  You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

  Fav 9 3873 1078

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award

  Fav 7 4641 696

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do

  Fav 19 5318 1620

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

  Fav 27 5731 1241

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  dude its may

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Work with me here, man.

  Fav 6 4377 1200

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

  Fav 13 2828 1081

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.

  Fav 14 1312 1013

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

  Fav 5 1585 758

  share tweet
  

• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities

  Fav 3 938 615

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

  Fav 2 524 791

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.

  Fav 6 746 690

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!

  Fav 1 342 192

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants

  Fav 2 56 10

  share tweet
  

• (915): View more from Texas

  Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last

  Fav 0 38 23

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (361): View more from Texas

  Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.

  Fav 0 7 43

  share tweet
  

Randomize