my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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