Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
