My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
