he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
