I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
