My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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