It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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