I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
