Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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