wanna go halves on a baby?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
