So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Barsexuality is the new black.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
