dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
