y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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