So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
