I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
