A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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