I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
