My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
