I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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