How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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