hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
