WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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