you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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