You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
