hotel room ftw
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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