All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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