Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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