What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
