I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
