They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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