He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it glows. i had to have it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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