if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
