Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
