I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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