$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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